For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb
Psalm 139:13

Tuesday 11 August 2009

The bicycle, the chavs and the tiny pink tie

A train journey is usually great for getting a few rows in. I set out on Sunday for a bike ride and bit of knitting, but this paled to insignificance when some naked chavs tried to steal my bike! For reasons unknown to man I'd never taken my bike on a train before, and this didn't seem to be a problem until nude chavs decided to commandeer my bicycle on the way back.

Me and Frankie cycled into the forest. A picnic was had, the chocolate to carrot stick consumpion ratio was not at all balanced! We saw deer and stags, a unicorn (?!), a beetle named Gavin who chased after us and what looked like bear prints. It was a fairly enchanted forest.

I got on the train home clumsily and through the wrong door, meaning I had to reverse my bike awkwardly into the rack. Laptop Man was very nice about this, and showed me a seat (no-one likes sitting on the floor next to the toilet). I sat down by a window and started to knit, then noticed there was some kind of commotion going on further up the carriage. I heard drunken laughter and terrifying things like "he's getting naked" and "where's my camera?". Nice. Sure enough, a naked man runs past. Soon afterwards I hear the unmistakable sound of the hooter from my bike. Oh dear. The chap streaks back. Laptop Man joins me, informing me that he prevented the guy from stealing my bike. He sits down on the other side as he doesn't want to get "brushed by anything that goes past". It gets worse. By the time we get to my stop there are two partially clothed men. Thankfully the one sitting on my bike is wearing trousers. Horror of horrors, there is a pair of boxers in my basket! Both men deny ownership. I reason with them, and they drunkenly 'help' me off the train. The pants are still there. Gingerly I pluck them from the basket and throw them behind me, trying to get away. Laptop Man did not turn out to be a chivalrous gent after all, he was no help.

I managed to drag my bike back up the station steps. Whilst trying to cycle away quickly, the laces of my Cons get caught around the pedal. Brilliant. Me and bike in heap on ground. You couldn't make this stuff up!

On the plus side, I didn't get sunburnt. And I did attempt to overcome my irrational fear of cattle grids . Not sure if I totally succeeded. Can't help thinking, just one false move and you could slip straight down, aaaah!

Knitting: a tiny pink tie, 3 stitches per row. Needless to say, not a lot of knitting was done.
Stares/Amused glances: 1
Comments: 0 (The naked men were getting a lot of attention)

1 comment:

  1. This sounds like a hilarious and traumatic day!!
    I love the name of your blog, very fetch.
    See you fri :) xxxx


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